Wednesday, June 29, 2011

That Thing They Call "Happy"


Have you ever felt yourself... regress?
Sometimes I become a version of myself that I'm embarrassed to be.
That happened last night.
I got so annoying it hurt. I haven't been like that for a long time.

Then I got a phone call. And I went and saw a redhead that I haven't seen in a week. In the words of Taylor Swift: I'm only me when I'm with you.
When I'm with him, I don't feel like I need to talk all the time or make myself heard. I say what I feel and I'm alright when silence comes.

I had this whole image in my head of what it was going to be like when I saw him again. Of course it wasn't like that. Nothing ever goes the way you plan it to. And that's alright. It was perfect.

And I was, to put it in the simplest terms, happy.

.....

Monday, June 27, 2011

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Yeah, I'm finding that out this week.
(Not like I do that...)
......
.....
...
Stupid Arizona.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

A Quick Story

I think it's time that I talk about a certain boy.


I've been trying not to only talk about him on this blog, and then I realized that I haven't actually really talked about him in a while. So here we go.


He's probably the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Or very, very high on the list.




I feel... healthier.


For months and months (and months and months) I thought that I was worthless.
And I had accepted that.


Then, Brother Anderson invited me over for some good ol' apple pie.
Thank goodness for that pie.
I met a redhead whom I had always admired from a distance.
He was funny and kind and simply made me happy.
(I think that's the secret to this whole relationship: He just makes me happy. There is no pain, there is no roller coaster of emotion. One day isn't miserable and the next wonderful. They're all wonderful.)


We'd say hi to each other in the hallways, always looking really excited to see each other.
Just acquaintances.
He stood next to me at a basketball game, and I really thought I was standing next to one of the coolest people in the school.
I was on Cloud Nine.


Then... he asked me to Prom.


And we became good, good friends.


Then we started being with each other as much as possible.


Then we kissed.


And here we are today.


I guess... he just makes me feel like I'm on top of the world.


"Kim... you simply seem happier. He just brings out the best side of you!"- My Mom.
Yep. My whole family absolutely loves him.


He calls me Kimberly, when no one else even tries to.


May I just share one story?
We're driving in his car, holding hands. He says "Can I tell you something?" He's using his nervous voice. "Remember how you told me that if I ever stopped liking you, I had to tell you?"
No. He's not doing this to me right now. I mean, he's holding my hand! He can't be doing this.
His voice shakes. "I want you to know... every time that I see you... you get more beautiful than you were the day before."


Later that night, he texts me this: "Can I just say that it's been like that since the day I met you. Honestly."


I feel really, really, really blessed.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Genuinely Good People

I'm extremely blessed to have many genuinely good people as my friends.
Like...genuinely good.
Like... I don't know how I got this lucky.


And there are some amazing people that I blog-stalk.
I wish I knew them more.
One specifically seems really... organic.
(That's a good thing.)


I guess all I can say is this:
"Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?" -Fanny Brice.


Imagine you were the only person in the world.
There was absolutely no one to impress.
Who would you be?


I think some people don't know.
I think some people make themselves a facade to wear, and they think that no one can tell.
Some of us can see through the mask.
And most of the time?
There is an empty shell underneath.
Please find yourself, or you will be facing a lot of heartache down the road.


I PROMISE that people will love you for who you really are.
Just let us find out who that is.
 

Thursday, June 16, 2011

That awkward moment where you find yourself going through all 164 pictures of someone's Family Reunion album on facebook... and you don't even know the person.


Facebook stalking.


It's a problem.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Fortune Cookies

Have I talked about this?
If so, bear with me.
My Fortune Cookie Belief*:
*Note. I truly think this. We're all allowed to think a couple of far fetched things in our lives!


A fortune cookie is a message from Fate to you.
If you grab a fortune cookie, there is a reason why you got that cookie.
Fate is trying to tell you something.
Once you open a fortune cookie, it is like a little prayer that floats up to heaven.
That's why you don't tell anyone your fortunes, because do you tell people your prayers?
No.



I have a countless number of fortunes stashed in the corners of my room.


People have teased me for this before, but I don't care.
A fortune cookie makes me happier than almost anything in the world.


Thank you, Fate, for talking to me by means of a cute little cookie.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Three of My Favorite Things

1. My ward girls. So basically, I love my religion. I'm SO grateful that I get to be in the ward that I am!
This week I went to Youth Conference.
Staying in a cabin with those girls was wonderful!
I wish our cabin looked like this! Pretend it did.

2. My sister... Who is engaged! What the?! She's my best friend... and she's leaving me.
But I'm going to be the Maid of Honor!


3. A cumulation of the two
I love this commercial. I love everything about it.
The music, her hair (do you think it's possible for me to cut my bangs like that and pull it off?), her tea length dress, the flowers in her hair, the tent, the rain, the piggyback ride he gives her... everything.
It's absolutely perfect.

A bonus thing I love: My Mailbox.
Sometimes I leave little letters in it and my redhead comes and picks them up.

Okay, one more:
The word unmitigated. Especially in the phrase "Unmitigated joy."
It just reminds me of the end of Pride and Prejudice (Keira Knightley version) when he says "...Mrs. Darcy... Mrs. Darcy... Mrs. Darcy." Unmitigated joy, right there.

The little things. :)

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Lemonade Stands

So. I don't have some long list of things I have to do this summer.
(I mean, Daniel and I have a ten-event long list. We just did the Philly Cheesesteaks. But this post isn't about Mr. Bradford.)
I do, however, have a couple of personal clear goals.


A perpetual goal I made about a year ago: As soon as I got my driver's license, I would stop at every single stand on the side of the road with a kid selling something.



Sometimes, I really don't want to.
I've run out of quarters. I'm almost out of dimes and nickels.
But see, two minutes out of my time make the kid's day.
I've been to two stands so far today.


$0.75, one snowcone, and a lollypop for me = the cutest smiles.


It's pretty much my favorite thing to do.
I think one Saturday I'll drive around and see how many I can find.
Please stop the next time you see one!
(We all know that we've tried to have a lemonade stand. I don't know about you, but mine failed. Stop your car and let them live the dream!)


In other news:
I'll be making BLTs tonight with Daniel. Yeah, we're sandwich people. He's never had a BLT, and I had never had a Philly. We're completing life goals here, people!


P.S.
Two days ago I heard this song: Every Teardrop is a Waterfall by Coldplay. I already have it memorized. The great thing about Coldplay is that I can listen to the songs and simply appreciate the music. Rarely is a band's music good enough that I forget to listen to the lyrics. Coldplay is one of those bands.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Early to Rise

Once....
I must get up at 6:45 everyday until I finish my 4 online classes. Seeing how each quarter of Fitness for Life takes at least 7 weeks... I will be here all summer. 


Feel free to bring me a doughnut or something.


(I actually like it quite a lot.
Once I get out of bed, it's enjoyable.)
In other news:
Daniel got a job.
Today he's taking me kayaking, and then he will be working all day, everyday.
Stupid money.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Growth

These past couple of days, I haven't posted anything.
*That blog silence is dedicated to you, Chloe Mehr.*
(She may have mentioned to me that I posted everyday. So I stopped for a while.)


Since school is over, I pulled out my journal and started reading from Day One of Junior Year.
I have every single day written down and documented.


Here is an excerpt from one of the first entries I read:
"I don't want to turn 16. Surprise! I really don't want to. Because... I will feel like a total loser. I'm not the kind of girl who guys love. I'm not someone who will get asked on dates. I'll be 16, and I will have no excuse for not going on dates. None. I'm so afraid I won't go to Homecoming. So afraid. Do you want to hear something sad? Of course not. Okay, I believe in love. I honestly do. I just... I don't believe that there is  someone out there for me. You know how hopeless that makes me feel? I am such a flawed person. I'm insecure and I mess everything up... I'll never find someone who will love me the way I am. And that's the saddest thing to me. More than anything, I've just wanted my own Prince Charming."


....That journal entry made me so sad.
Did I really think that about myself?
This is why I recommend keeping a journal. I always see how much I've grown and what I still need to work on.
I cannot believe that I thought so little of myself!
Please, learn to love yourself.
You don't need a boy to do that.
And you know what? Boys can tell if a girl loves herself. She doesn't need to strut around with as much self confidence as say, Spencer Vernon, but she does need to believe she is worth something. Everyone is. (And I can say that about Spencer because we are friends.) :)


TANABATS.
(I write that on my hand everyday.)
Things Are Never As Bad As They Seem
My own life philosophy.


"Graduation happened and I didn't cry. I forgot: I never cry at goodbyes. I stood on the floor of the Marriott Center, hugging all of my SBOs. He came through everyone to find me. We hugged for a long time. And then, in the middle of everyone, he kissed me."
"The next day, I went over to his house. He was cleaning out his room, so I saw it for the first time. Right next to his bed, on his windowsill, there is a picture of me."


Just know that there is someone out there who really will think the world of you. You may not know them yet, but they are out there, just waiting to find you.