What to Do When You're Out of Bread
(And Your Family Went Out to Eat Without You and You're Sitting Home Alone)
Step 1: Get read to go out for the night. This takes approx. 15 minutes of the hour and a half you have to kill.
Step 2: Sigh.
Step 3: Walk to the pantry 'cause you're starving.
Realize you have no bread. At all. Check the freezer. No bread.
Step 4: Walk to the fridge.
Realize there is nothing remotely appetizing to eat. Everything that is would have to be made into a sandwich... oh, wait. No bread.
Step 5: Repeat Steps 3&4 with little variation.
Step 6: Sit on the couch, hopeless. Realize you killed another 5 minutes.
Step 7: Have an epiphany. You saw you had English muffins in the freezer they aren't bread, but couldn't you make a sandwich using one?
Step 8: Make a mini toasted Cajun turkey sandwich, complete with tomatoes and lettuce.
Step 9: Watch Say Yes to the Dress while eating the sandwich referenced in Step 8.
Step 10: Make another Cajun turkey sandwich because the first one was so good.
Step 11: Repeat Step 9.
Step 12: Want to repeat Step 10, but you ran out of turkey. Improvise.
Step 13: Make a mini cucumber sandwich on, yes, your third English muffin.
Step 14: Watch more Say Yes to the Dress. Feel very feminine and dainty because you are eating a cute little cucumber sandwich while watching a show about dresses.
Step 15: Go out for the night, feeling very accomplished.