Monday, December 12, 2011

L-I-F-E-G-O-E-S-O-N

I got dumped.

Never thought it would happen to me, and then it did.
And yeah, it hurt.

But you want to know the amazing thing?
I'm so happy.

Yeah, it hurts when someone you love tells you all they things that they don't like about you. All the things that they just can't get over, that you need to fix. It kills when your favorite person looks at you and tells you they don't love you anymore.

I don't wish that pain on anyone.

I went home and my mom held me.
But then... I prayed. And I know, I just know, life is going to get so much better than I can even imagine.
I gave my entire heart back to the Lord, right where it should be.

I woke up this morning, and I was happy. I looked in the mirror, and I was still proud to be me. I can change to be better, but I would never trade who I am. Today is a great day.

Every single thing around me seems to whisper "I love you, Kimberly. I love you, my daughter. I love you."

I am loved.
And I don't need an eighteen year old boy to make me feel that I am.
My seminary teacher asked me how my weekend was. I told him. He said "He's a jerk." I said "No, he's not. He's an amazing person. We just have to grow differently right now."

Here's the ironic truth of my life:
He'd call me Sunshine. He'd sing "You Are My Sunshine" to me.
Here are the (some of) real words to that song:

Your Are My Sunshine- Johnny Cash
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried.

Chorus: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

I'll always love you and make you happy,
If you will only say the same.
But if you leave me and love another,
You'll regret it all some day:

(Chorus)

You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between.
But not you've left me and love another;
You have shattered all of my dreams:

(Chorus)

Who knew it was a heartbreaking song?
I guess things aren't always what they seem to be.

I discovered something about myself: Believe it or not, I can't stand those moaning love songs anymore. I couldn't even listen to "You Are My Sunshine" because it seems so ridiculous to me. If you're hurt: why keep reopening the wound? Let it heal. Let yourself become better because of what you went through.

Your heart might be broken. Someone might have hurt you.

.... but that happened yesterday.
Seize today.

That's exactly what I plan to do.




3 comments:

  1. This is beautiful Kimberly. Really. Thank you for putting into words some of the emotions I've been dealing with. And for saying those things with hope attached.

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  2. Girl you're amazing....Just the way you are!
    :)

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