I felt like I was being repeatedly punched right between the ribs.
My heart hurt and I knew something needed to change.
I needed to fill up this empty spot in my heart.
This vast vacuum in me keeps threatening to engulf my empty being, so I am attempting fill myself so that the vacuum is made so small that it stops noticeably existing.
And I'm starting to succeed.
I'm filled with sacrificing friends who would rather sit on a couch with me than spend the entire night with their boyfriends.
*I'm filled signed copies of "The Fault in Our Stars" (now my second favorite book).*
I'm filled with classy pizzerias and for once not peeling the cheese off my slices of pizza.
I'm filled with spur of the moment texts that lead to spontaneous Saturday night outings. (Thanks, darling Elizabeth. You're the best.)
*I'm filled with concerts and Lady and Gent and Issac Russell and finding a spot right next to the stage.*
I'm filled with standing in the middle of a group of LP kids (the school I despise) and not caring a single bit.
...... in fact, I'm filled with shared grief for them. They are people, too. People who have two classmates that just committed suicide. I'm filled with a love and an acceptance that, despite their rich parents, they are just like me.
And, of course, I am filled with the love of the Savior. Never-ending, never fully comprehensible love.
(This picture found via Pinterest *here*)
Go out and live. You will be filled.