Monday, February 27, 2012


This Bob Marley quote just says it all. No, but really.

Practically everyday that I live I want to burn all movies that show love at first sight or soul mates or anything of the sort.

Not because I don't think those things are great-- believe me, I do. I watched Cinderella every freaking day of my childhood. I'm a big fan of true love.

But the media taught us backwards.

"Someday my prince will come....".... and he will be perfect and wonderful and never smell bad and he will look like an angel and love absolutely everything about you all the time and he will never get mad at you and he will never, ever be annoying or accidentally hurt your feelings. Ever.

Except he will.

It took me forever to realize this: Whether consciously or not,  we have this idea of who we could fall in love with.

Some girls make extremely specific lists of qualities. (My YW leader has even told me to do this.)
Some girls have a secret list that their subconscious outlines.

And while some general characteristics are wonderful to list out (e.g. "Honors his Priesthood" or "Does not look at porn"), most are not.

For example. I always thought I could never love someone if they were not at least as smart as I am. I seriously asked people their ACT scores. (This is not a joke. But you can laugh anyway.)

Then I fell in love with someone whose ACT was not close to mine at all.

I always said I would fall in love with someone at least six feet tall.
I fell in love with someone who probably is not six feet tall.

Does God love us for what we look like?
Of course not. We all know that.

Does God love us for the things we're good at? Our talents?
No he does not.

He loves us for our hearts. For the tiny things that make us, us. Don't we want a godly love? A perfect love?

For so long, we've been programmed to have a preconceived idea of the person we're going to fall in love with.
We're searching for love backwards. We're looking in the heart last.

Fall in love with the little things, and then you'll find yourself falling in love with the low ACT score. With the crooked teeth. With the stupid remarks. Even with the fact that he, yes, sometimes smells bad. Because that's him. And you love him.

When you fall in love with the heart, the love for the rest will follow.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Just Kidding.

You know when I said that the "absolute best thing you could ever do with you life is to be under the complete influence of the Spirit"?

Yeah, well, my mom and I felt really uneasy about going out of state.

So we're staying home.
I don't know what might have happened (if anything), but I do know I'm not supposed to go.

So my mom promised me a MLB game soon to make up for not going to the beach.

.....yes yes yes yes yes yes yes. :)

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

AZ and CA

I am going to be IN Arizona. Where the Diamondbacks play.
I am going to be IN  southern California. Where the Angels play.
And you know what?

I'm going two weeks before Spring Training starts. I'm so frustrated.

It's okay, though.

I like road trips.
I like sleeping in cars for hours on end.
I like listening to books on tape.
I like getting out of the car because I get so motion sick.

I like California.
Even though we're going for a funeral, so no Disneyland.
I like California because it's an unwritten law that you have to.
It's got multiple baseball teams, the beach, Disneyland, and palm trees.

I like Arizona.
Basically, I like my memories of Arizona.
I could write a whole blog post about how Arizona smells, I like it that much.
I like the Swap Meet and I like really, really hot tar in parking lots.
I like Organ Stop and I like my grandma.

But mostly I like the smell.

I'm totally serious.
I really could write pages on how Arizona smells.

So I'm excited. Even if there is no baseball. It'll be good anyway. :)

Monday, February 20, 2012

...And the World Spins Madly On

Let's talk about time, just for a second.

We've all had wonderful moments. Moments that never lose their glow, even in the depths of our memory. But time is fleeting, and no matter how much we want to keep a moment, we never can. The world keeps going and going and going and if we try to hold on to one moment, the world will eventually leave us behind.

But "time is measured only unto man."

Think of eternity. I know it sort of hurts the brain, but just think of it for a second.
In the words of the Doctor, it's all "wibbily wobbily timey wimey" and stuff.
Basically, it's this big thing, happening all at once.

We can only see it in our linear perspective, but really it's expanding in every direction for forever!
Each moment you've ever lived is existing right. now. 

You're living countless "firsts" right now.
The moment of your first kiss.
The moment you first stepped into Disneyland.
The moment you first felt the drop in your stomach as the plane rose up into the sky.

You're living countless "lasts" as well.
The moment you said your last goodbye to your grandpa, and you didn't even know it.
The moment where you last saw your sister with her first last name.
The moment when you last were hugged very tightly.

The world keeps spinning and time seems (to us) to fly forward, but each of those moments is still existing in the eternities. Don't ever cry about saying goodbye to someone, because there is some version of you somewhere out there that is laughing with them right now.

Time is just an illusion, friends. And we're all here to see its magic show.

"World Spins Madly On"- a wonderful song by The Weepies

Monday, February 13, 2012

Our Perfect Pieces

In a *previous post*, I related boys to jeans.
For this post, I'm going to delve into a more commonplace analogy, but just as true.

We're all puzzle pieces, looking for our match.
No man is an island, and every human instinctively feels this chasm in their heart that needs to be filled by loving someone and being loved in return.

We search and we search. We get to know our "type". We need a puzzle piece that looks a certain way to complete us. We can't fit with a piece that's all gaps if we're all gaps, too.

Maybe we find our perfect fit right away, sliding in with a content "There!" and a satisfied smile. Or maybe we're one of those frustrating pieces that the puzzle maker holds in their hand for a significant amount of time before throwing it down in frustration.

The problem is that with all of us little puzzle pieces mixed around, we tend to settle. We might find a piece that seems to fit perfectly, but we ignore that they're clearly an effervescent yellow and we're a deep blue. We close our eyes to the conflicting colors because they fit, and no other piece will, right?

Or maybe they are the same exact hue as we are, but their fit with us is just a little to forced to be comfortable. We keep saying "Oh look, we fit!" but we feel squished and part of us is just a quarter of a millimeter off, but off just enough to notice.

Or maybe we're both corners.
Or maybe the fit is just too loose the the pieces keep falling apart.

I guess what I'm saying is this: The puzzle was made so that everything would work out, eventually. Maybe you're the first piece, and maybe you're the beautiful last piece, but every single one of the pieces fit together, eventually. There are no extra pieces sitting on the side.

So don't settle. You're perfect piece will come and make you whole.

Scout's Honor.

“Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come.” -Jeffery R. Holland

Author's Note: No, this does not mean that I think there is one and only one person for everyone in the world. If two people have the same standards, then the marriage can theoretically work. Just don't try and justify a relationship you know won't work just because you love to feel loved.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Absolute Best Thing You Can Ever Do With Your Life

I have decided The Absolute Best Thing You Can Ever Do With Your Life.
No, it's not to be ridiculously rich.
No, it's not not start a huge charitable organization and feed millions of starving people.
And no, it's not to go backpacking throughout all of Europe (though we all wish it was).

Okay, put on your spiritual pants and get ready:

The Absolute BEST Thing You Can Ever Do With Your Life is...
to be able to be led by the Spirit at ALL times and in EVERY single thing you do.

I told my friend this today and she asked me "Wait, so do you mean to pray for every single decision, like what shirt to wear?"
No, that's not what this means.

This means that the Lord is able to trust you to be able to complete His miracles.
In the words of Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "You are His hands."

Start out small: Before you say something brutally sarcastic or critical, think "Is this really going to make me happy to say? Is this going to leave me with that effervescent feeling right between my ribs?"
The two seconds it takes you to think that will allow the moment to pass and then- bam!- you never got around to saying those demeaning words. And you're already a better person.

The next step: When you get little promptings like "Go talk to her." or "Look that person in the eyes and ask them how they are doing." Do it. Have you ever felt bad after doing that? No. Maybe embarrassed, maybe uncomfortable. But did you ever fee like you had done something wrong? No, because you were doing everything right.

You honestly never know when  a "Hello" or a "How are you?" could change someone's outlook on life.
Trust me.
Yesterday I felt like I had been punched in the gut again. It was awful. Out of the blue, I got a text from a concerned friend and an invitation to go to the temple from another.
I honestly cannot communicate how much those small things meant to me.

Be someone's miracle today. You'll never regret that.

If we live under the complete influence of the Spirit, then our lives will be beautiful.
Instead of seeing the pain of the refiner's fire, we'll see the beautiful gold that we will become. Our own burdens will be lifted as we help lift those of others.

I promise, you'll begin to see the abundance of silver lining on those clouds.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

A Plea for Good Music

Music communicates what words cannot.
I fully believe this.
Many times I'll find a song and it will explain exactly how I feel.
Be it the melody, the beat, or the lyrics, some songs put my feelings into a tangible form.

But there is a dark side to this force.

I've been pretty good at avoiding songs that break my heart.
Then I found this one song and I loved it.
The use of xylophone, the odd music video, the lyrics explaining what I was feeling to a T.
That song took everything that is inside of me and transformed it into a something real.

That song killed me.
It tore me apart, chewed me up, and spit me back out.
"But you didn't have to cut me off...
Now you're just somebody that I used to know."

I vowed that I would never listen to it again.
Then it started following me. Suddenly it was played on the radio. People would mutter it in the hallways and sing it under their breath.
It's a battle everyday to fight it out of my head.

It breaks my heart that the Adversary would take something so beautiful and use it to hurt.
I'm now trying to feel every moment with songs that bring out the best.

If you have any good songs, PLEASE, PLEASE tell me.
Anything to get this out of my head.
Here is a song for you: *Such Great Heights* by The Postal Service: