Wednesday, August 29, 2012

I. Love. Failure.

I love Failure.

Failure says you tried.
Failure says you went out of your comfort zone.
Failure says you did something scary.

Failing with grace says you've grown.

Failure makes you count your blessings.
Failure reminds you that the things you're actually good at are talents and aren't supposed to be wasted.

The only awful like of failure is when you don't even try.

I'd rather try and fail ten times out of ten than not try at all.

Because sometimes, things work out. Sometimes tender mercies come.
And when you fail?

...Well, that's a tender mercy too.

P.S. Thank you for all of your support! College is wonderful-- I love school!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Tea Lights

I'm really blessed.
Why is it hard to remember that?
I'm waiting for someone to say "Okay, go home now! Growing up was all a huge joke. I can't believe you fell for it!"

I feel like I'm eleven and entering the seventh grade all over again.

Everything worthwhile is hard in the beginning, right?
That's what they say.

"What's your name? Where are you from? What's your major? Where are you living? Why did you come to BYU?"
Will one of these people actually stick? Will they be more than a passing face?

I was so excited. So ready.
I don't want to go home, but I don't want to be here.

All I know is the only things that's made me happy are my tea lights and my picture collage.

It'll get better.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Thank Goodness

Thank Goodness all of our wishes don't come true. Thank Goodness that almost all my wishes on stars fell through. If they didn't, I'd be married to Alex Giles from the third grade, Christian Graf from the fifth, and Mark Chamberlin from the seventh. It'd just be really awkward, being married to all those boys.

Thank Goodness I don't get everything I want. If I did, I'd be much worse off. I'd be like that blonde girl in the Princess and the Frog, except probably much chubbier (I've wished for a lot of funnel cake in my life).

Thank Goodness 11:11 wishes mostly fail. They've taught me something about myself. I don't care how many times my wishes don't come true. I'll keep wishing at 11:11, on birthday candles, on eyelashes, on stars, dandelions, wishing wells, and Disneyland fireworks. Doing so inspires me to voice my deepest wishes, and then I know I have to go out and fight for them to come true.

Thank goodness wishes often are forgotten and hardly ever come to fruition, because it makes it so much sweeter when they actually come true.

Stars stars stars


Thursday, August 16, 2012

We, As Humans, Defy Reason

Our hearts defy reason.

It's common sense that if you give something away, then you have less. 5-1=4, and 5-1 will never equal more than 5. It's simple math. It's something we're taught from the time our hands are big enough to hold No. 2 pencils. It's a lie.

Because sometimes you give your love away, and your heart gets bigger. And you grow more love. And then you give that love away, and your heart gets even bigger!

I mean, I know this isn't a new concept. I know that this phenomenon has been observed for centuries. It still baffles me.

It baffles me that one of my absolute best friends is leaving me in less than two weeks, and I won't see him for two years. It baffles me that my Harry his leaving his Hermione. And most of all it baffles me that the more I see him and hug him and try to communicate how much he means to me, the less I'm able to even begin to tell him. He's like my brother, and it baffles me that my love for him has never stopped growing.

It baffles me that I can love my ex-boyfriends family more than I ever did when I was dating him. That I can visit them and they are my friends, regardless of my 'ex' status. It baffles me that when I thought they could fill no more of my heart, they prove me wrong.

5-1= Infinity.

Our hearts defy reason.


P.S. Some of you told me that blogger wouldn't let you post a comment. I  think I removed the problem, so just let me know if it's still not working.

Thursday, August 9, 2012


...the next morning she woke up, and did it with a smile on her face. She felt the sun kiss her eyelashes and caress her prickly legs and run its sunbeam fingers through her tangled hair. She smiled at the stranger with the familiar face and basked in his similarities to someone far away. She recounted memories and felt no pain, longing, or remorse. Just the memory itself.

And she realized, she was free. She had pleaded, cried, ignored her way out of her own heart, or at least she had tried to. How could she had escaped from her favorite thing, her memory? How could she have abandoned the prison warden that she loved so dearly? So she had given up. She had turned to her memories and kissed them firmly on the mouth. She carried them with her and whispered them like they were her own personal fairy stories. And that act had set her free.

Age-old Time had not let her down; indeed, his wrinkled hands had healed all her wounds. The scars she thought would never leave became beautiful to her. Her sweet recollections held no bitter aftertaste.

At night she stretched herself out as wide as she possibly could, fingers and toes spread out, knees locked, neck elongated. Even in her dark room with her ceiling fan whirring above her, she could feel the sun, and she was determined to soak in as much of its light as she could. She fell in love with a memory yet to be, and she was happy to wait as long as it took to find it in actuality.

As she closed her eyes, she finally realized what had changed. She had woken up and left her cocoon behind, not even knowing it had been enveloping her in the first place.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Fun Facts

Fun Fact-- I used to be funny. What happened there? Oops.

Fun Fact-- I finally got through Pottermore to the point where I was sorted. GRYFFINDOR FOR LIFE! Also, the core of my wand is dragon heartstring... same as Hermione's.

Related Fun Fact-- I'm basically Hermione Granger. We're the same person. I know there are lots of girls who feel that way, and that's fine. We can share her. Her brains, her annoying habits, her big teeth, her love of rules, not to mention her love of redheads.... we're the same person.

Fun Fact-- I got my wisdom teeth out today.

Fun Fact To Go With Previous Fun Fact-- Lortab has no effect on me. Maybe it's helping with the pain... but I feel exactly the same from before I took it. I am not drowsy or inhibited in any way. Take THAT, drugs!

Fun Fact-- I'm assigning my birthday presents this year. I used to just say "Surprise me", but then I was disappointed. I've taken matters into my own hands. People get a present based on price and their relation to me. Holler back, Type A personalities!

Another Related Fun Fact-- I'm not really a huge Type A personality. For proof, please view my bedroom. Just kidding. Don't see my bedroom. It's embarrassingly gross right now.

And The Final Fun Fact-- I'm planning on going on a mission. I'm so excited! Only 3 years and one month until I can go!