Monday, January 7, 2013

Smile Like You Mean It

The one thing I've been good at my entire life is school.
I've never not been excited for a new semester.
The only time I've ever really not wanted to go to school is after I went to Disneyland and I decided I'd be content working there for the rest of my life.

Today, I did not want to go to school.
Today, I did not want to talk to anyone.
Today, I didn't want to make the effort.

When the one thing that's always been constant in your life suddenly isn't constant anymore, you just want to drive. Drive anywhere. Drive to Disneyland and work there until you are too old to push "Stop" and "Go" buttons in Fantasyland.

Like with so much else, I want to be happy about school now. I want to feel included and loved and funny now. I want a boy now. I want to be able to go on my mission now.

Will I ever learn to be patient? The ultimate paradox in my life is that Patience takes Patience to achieve.

But for right now, I have meatless chicken, laughter in apartment 20, being a card game champion, concert tees, and red lipstick to remind me that things are never as bad as they seem.

(For you, Mattie. :) Thanks for being a loyal follower and friend!)




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